Wednesday, August 7, 2013

bad dog. BAD DOG!!

I would like you meet someone. She is BAD DOG. Cousin to NAUGHTY DOG.

It's complicated.

This is Frankie. She is a gorgeous yellow lab, begot from a long line of field trial champions. And she is my parent's third child. Really. It's me, my sister Jen, and Frankie. My mom actually refers to her as my "sister".

The Biggest Sparkle had a dream last summer when Frankie was less than a year old. She dreamed that her Papa was trying to put a pink bra on Frankie while singing "Only Girl in the World" by Rihanna. Every so often one of us will burst into song just to tease my dad. It's funny.

There she is, the Frankie Dankie Doo, The Frankers, Frankenfurter, Frankiestein. 

The Frankers gets to stay with me every so often when my parents visit. Of course, my dad has lots of errands, work and appointments to go to and my mom actually still works in the Twin Cities even though they technically live about 3 hours NW of here. Told you, it's complicated. 

So Frankie is here with me today. I do love her, gorgeous exuberant thing that she is. LOVE HER. But last week she chewed up our outside dryer vent, dragged a stump that was flower bed decor around the yard and TOOK MY GARDEN GNOME. I don't know what she did to him, but he was face down and I think crying. He looked violated. Then she came inside and picked the fairy house out of my fairy garden! BAD DOG. 

But still, I love her. Only Girl in the World. 

Yeah, the only girl who would DRAG MY GRILL COVER OFF AND CHEW A HOLE IN IT!!!

Do you see it? In the photo above? She is not even guilty looking. 

She wouldn't even stop trying to lick me so I could get a photo. See the tear? SEE THE FLIPPING TEAR????

And then as I picked up the grill cover my shoe fell out. And it HAD ALSO BEEN CHEWED.


So in the house she went. I tried to be serious. I tried to be stern. She jumped around like a ridiculous nut, happy happy happy. It's very hard to be mad at Frankers. 

She was in the mudroom for 2 minutes (2 MINUTES!!) and when I went back in I found this:

It's impressive the speed at which she destructs. Frankie is a hurricane of destruction. 

Sadly, there will be no flash sale because she is the BAD DOG and not the NAUGHTY DOG. But no worries, I'm sure naughty dog will up to her same old/same old in no time. 


  1. Hi Heather. Check out my dog blog:
    You might want your dog to be a guest blogger - just like Casey. I LOVE having a "dog" guest blog!

  2. LOL! I can't believe she took the gnome! Poor gnome! If it helps, my dog used to eat the wall... like the dry wall. Not the corners either. He put his face right up to the flat side of the wall and just started chewing. We had holes everywhere!

    The Teaching Thief