Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Never argue with the little folk about the Little Folk

and I mean that totally PC-ly. I found out today just how vehement 6 and 7 year-olds can be about make-believe creatures. I'm blaming this one on kindergarten and their darn "Leprechaun Traps". We have been learning about St. Patrick's Day this week, as a fun excuse to explore fiction vs. non-fiction and gather the good stuff from informative texts. Our conversation went like this:

me: "Look at the cover. Study the illustration. Give me a thumbs up if you think this book will be fiction, or a thumbs down for non-fiction." The cover had a sleeping man with a harp and a leprechaun dancing around him.

firsties: mostly thumbs up. There are four thumbs down.

me: "Look at the leprechaun. Can this be a book that is going to teach us about real things?"

firsties: "Yes."

me: my ha-ha has been gone since 9:07. "No."

firsties: "Yes. Leprechauns are real. So this book is non-fiction."

me: uh-oh, thin ice here. Don't want to give away Santa or the Easter Bunny. But screw those little leprechauns. "I'm not saying they aren't real, but we can't say they are real, either. We would need proof that they are real, like a picture. Bunnies are real. Lots of people have pictures of bunnies. We see them, too. No one has a picture of a leprechaun, and no one has ever seen one. I'm not saying that you can't believe in them. I'm just saying no one has proof that they are real."

child #16: "I have."

me: oh boy. "With your eyes? You saw one with your own eyes?"

child #16: "I seen their footprints in my kindergarten room." Damn you, kindergarten.

child #8: "Mrs. M, you better watch out! They'll trash our room! Then you will never find your desk!"

My 7-yr-old niece Rebecca also believes that leprechauns are real. But she insists they only have one foot.

True story. I actually hate leprechauns. I haven't even ever seen that awful 80's horror movie about them. I just think the ugly green hats and un-moustached beards are gross. My god. Believe in fairies. Believe in dragons. Let's just leave the little green guys out of it.

Next year I'm going to build a Santa trap and leave his footprints all over my classroom. Maybe he'll even "trash it". Why not? If we can insist that some little fruitcakes in bad hats are leaving money on a Saint's holiday, then I say we give old Saint Nick a a try, too.

Enough about leprechauns. I actually love St. Patty's Day despite them. I'm not even Irish, and am not that great a lover of beer.

Tell me if you've ever had this happen: a student got into a bit of trouble today for yelling at me and as a consequence had to call his mother and tell her. Said mother then drove up to school from work to deliver him an ass-chewing. She also told me what his punishment should be, including writing lines. Wowwweeee wow. I kind of don't even know what to say. I'm impressed, scared and a little pissed all at the same time.

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